Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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