you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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