Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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