Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
