based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
