mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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