so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
