Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
