You're completely useless in the revolution.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
