All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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