Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
