his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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