i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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