Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
