What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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