bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
