so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
