so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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