i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
