Say something about gay babies.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
