areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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