she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
