we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
