i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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