I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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