Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
