..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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