Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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