Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
