He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
