You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
