We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
