new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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