OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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