I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
