8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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