I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
