i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
