if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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