Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just want nice things and good sex
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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