I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize