R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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