So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
