Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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