i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Pants are for mortals
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
