i jhust puked up my retainher.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
