Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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