we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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