I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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