I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
