chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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