wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
