Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
