Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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