going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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