It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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