They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
