he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
