do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
they need to just BURY HIM!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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